the last thing I typically do after laying down in bed at night is stare at the ceiling and think about all the mistake I’ve made in my life.

I’ve spent time today thinking about fate. specifically, just how passive should one be in their fate?

is it something that you have to take action, and seek out? or is it something that is delivered to you, and you either step up or step aside? me thinks that, by its nature, fate is something delivered to you. that isn’t necessarily to argue for a life that’s pre-determined; at least, that’s not the explicit point that I’m trying to make.

rather, I think it like a standardized test of sorts, maybe, where you can skip questions if you want and you won’t be penalized for doing so; or, you can answer questions and risk getting it wrong, but also risk getting it right.

yeah, I think fate is something that calls out to you. it’s delivered. a gift from God, mayhaps, and it’s your choice if you want to keep it or maybe get a refund of some sort.

so again, I ask, how passive should one be in fate? I think it’s similar to any other opportunity: you wait, watch, and listen, and if a moment presents itself, you should sniff it and see what it smells like. some stink, yes, but others are euphoric. you never know until you start huffing.

I don’t know. I think I’ll think about it while I stare at the ceiling tonight, mulling over all the could-have-beens, still-might-bes, and never-stood-a-chances.

patience, that’s the name of the game. patience.