a large part of my job is learning. this could be said for many people, but as someone building an intelligence agency, it rings especially true in my situation. absorbing information is quite literally my schtick. it’s the root of most, if not all, of what I do.

in all this information absorbing, though, I often find myself quite lonely. imagine that! all this knowledge, all these conversations, all this socializing with people who are, quite frankly, wonderful human beings whose social presence I thoroughly enjoy and hope to continue enjoying.

so, then, why is it that the more I learn, the more I yearn?

I don’t have a good answer, but it does remind me of something else I’ve been thinking about: does Trust require a certain degree of ignorance? I mean, if you knew everything about something, you wouldn’t really have to Trust anything about the situation because you would know what’s going to happen. and if what is going to happen isn’t to your liking, you can just change it.

so, again, I wonder if Trust can exist without a layer of ignorance.

the connection here is that the more I learn, the more I yearn, and the more I learn, the less ignorant I become, so what need is there for Trust?

I don’t like this chain of thought, frankly. sometimes I find myself intentionally not knowing things. people will be telling me something, or alluding to some piece of information, maybe in a post online, and I’ll think to myself, “you know what, I think I’m ok with not knowing.”

and here’s the other thing: once you know something, you can’t not know it. you can forget, sure, but that’s not the same as Not Knowing. knowledge once given cannot be taken back. enlightenment is a one-way street.

so, I guess if you take anything from this post, it’s that sometimes you should take a moment before digging deeper and think “hmm, maybe I’d be better off not knowing the full details here. maybe I don’t need more shadow in a world with fading light.”

I don’t know. just one man’s opinion, I suppose.