I often describe myself as a perfectionist. I like things to be a certain way, and it’s bothersome if they’re not, frankly.

It doesn’t ruin my day, but it definitely checks my vibe; when an experience isn’t perfect, it’s definitely something I notice.

this unfortunately extends to many domains beyond just the professional. often times, after exiting a social situation, I review it as a performance. what went well, what should I polish for the next time I’m interacting with people. as I see these people repeatedly, how do they perceive me? what character am I to them?

this type of thinking can be healthy, or it can be unhealthy; like most things, it depends on what you do with the information.

I write these, fundamentally, as, I suppose, a means of exploring an identity. why is it that I tend to base my perception of myself on the social feedback I get from others? in other words, why do I care what people think?

to some degree it’s necessary. people are a social species, and operating within the confines of accepted etiquette is important. on the other hand, strategically breaking etiquette is arguably one of the fundamental mechanics of comedy, confidence, and “having an aura” as the culture has taken to calling it.

I think I’m just worried what kind of impression I make on new people. everyone wants to be liked. this desire is the ultimate equalizer across all humans in all times.

all that really matters it that you know who you are and have security in that idea. do you live Honorably? do you live Justly? do you live Good? everything else is noise.