just a couple quick things:

>someone should invent a way to measure the “metre” of social situations, so that we can better understand how to navigate them with etiquette and yadda yadda or whatever. it’s interesting, ok?

>the cost of doing anything well is attention. that’s why it’s called “paying attention”

the first one I don’t really have any further thoughts on.

but the second one, well, you know, you see this all the time with people who say “oh I’d like to learn to be good at this thing” or “oh I’d like to learn how to better engage in social situation”. whatever it is that you want to do better, the entrance fee is your attention.

so, like, if you want to get good at basketball or mountain biking, guess what? you should be paying attention to what the people who do it well do when they’re doing it well. you have mirror neurons for a reason!

also, similarly, if you want to, say, I don’t know, join a conversation with strangers at the bar or chit chat with a cutie patootie while you’re out and about, all you have to do is pay attention and find a way to insert yourself into the moment. maybe they’re talking about the same sports game you watched, or maybe they’re looking at the same type of bagels you buy. it doesn’t matter! the point here is that there’s commonalities amongst identities. you have opinions on things, they have opinions on things, explore those opinions! opinions are good! they’re social lubricant, if done correctly. something to think about.

it should also be of no surprise that this part right here is directly related to first point made above; that being, how do you measure social situations with a standard metre? the implication that in doing so, you can find the “rhythm of the room” and have a better experience overall; you can more fluidly synthesize with the moment. when you can read the beat of a situation, it enables you to slide in and out of socialization and sort of…curate…the situation in certain ways.

also, should be of no surprise that in getting really good at this is also a sort of prerequisite for being funny.

so, yep, that’s what I’m thinking about today.

bn (bonne nuit)